the westborow godhatesgoths website’s ‘warning signs that your child may be a goth’ is my favorite thing because
yeah getting doctor who pins is considered “goth”
oops i guess thats all of you
didnt you use the internet to create this website…?
breaking news: shakespeare may have been a goth!
are you even..?
yeah people that try to make friends are goths
I was diagnosed with sever depression back in 2005. My doc told me that I was the worst case she had ever seen in someone that was still able to function. I guess it would depend on what you call functioning. I was a fuckin zombie.
I say that to say this: we as Black people are sick. I would say…
I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder in March of 2012 after suffering in silence for 8 years. I love this post. I wish more of our people would speak out. You are not alone and it is okay to seek help!
Thank you. I know there people suffering in silence and it is ruining their chances of a decent life.
My cousin killed himself after suffering. He couldn’t take it anymore and he was only 21.
Talk people .
I had mine all throughout middle school (cant remember the years). It first started with puberty, getting exposed to situations I was no where near ready to experience, and then I just became angry as fuck my father(deceased) would never be able to help me deal now that life was getting real for me. Don’t get me wrong I have a FANTASTIC mother, but still. A father is a father. I was soooooo numb for those three years. Emotionless as could be and ALWAYS sleeping because being awake was just so dreadful to me. 8th grade “I snapped out of it”. & started being “popular” for actually being cool as fuck instead of the mascot of truly not giving a shit.
High school was all good. However, I’m in my 7th month of college now. Last month on the train ride home from class, I started thinking about how trapped I felt financial wise when it came to whether I should keep going or drop out. I thought that if my situation doesn’t change one way or another I’d relapse into that emotionless state. Thirty minutes later on that same ride, I had to fight back tears when I realized I already have. It feels like 75% of me is depressed all over again, but I’m trying to cling on to what remains and ignore that rest. I dunno, fuck this. Life is starting to become to much for me again.
The best thing I did for myself in college was UTILIZE THE FREE COUNSELING SERVICES. I didn’t have insurance and even if I got diagnosed with depression wouldn’t have been able to get the medicine, but I was able to go in for sessions once a week. I did it for a little over a year & finally got my time-management & other minor stressors under control. It helped to keep my life rolling whenever I had a few days (or weeks) of being less than productive *ahem*
One thing I’ve always tried to get across to my relatives & other Black people is what depression -actually- feels like. We kind of go with the word “sadness” because that’s what it looks like to other people. For the most part, when I’ve felt it and when I’ve talked to other people that are depressed it’s emptiness. Not caring. Not desiring. Not wanting. Not anything. For me, just kind of existing and nothing feels particularly important.
"Not caring. Not desiring. Not wanting. Not anything. For me, just kind of existing and nothing feels particularly important"
That is good a rundown as any and very accurate. The description that applied to me is, “rage turn inward.” Most of us have that storm raging inside of us.
But you are correct, you feel like you’re in an emotional vacuum where nothing helps and nothing is satisfying. The frustration is like an itch that you can’t reach.
I’m so glad your school had a program that you could utilized and it helped. I’m not a advocate of medicine. I know some have to have it, but personally i didn’t want it. The side effect to me out weighted the benefits. Number one thing is it kills your sex drive or makes it outta control. I was in a serious relationship and I didn’t need that added bs.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. And please keep talking to your family and friends, let them know there’s no shame in depression.
Just to anyone interested, to say we love you in Lupita’s language is Waweri
girls think about sex just as much as boys do and that is a fact bye
there was a study and apparently girls actually think about it more
that’s probably true because we can think about it whenever we want without our genitals making a guest appearance